Proposals in Austen's Time

When Fanny describes the proposal scene of the play they are performing, she is describing the general proposal of the day. Basically, I think what this quote means is that when the man proposes marriage, the woman is practically expected to accept. Men back then had to feel "encouraged" by a lady, unless the marriage was an arranged one. Encouragement was brought on by particular attention being paid to a man, subtleties of conversation (a form of flirting often found in Austen's novels), and probably just a sense that the lady is being more "open" with that man than she would be with another. A woman would never outright declare that she was in love with a man before he declared his love for her. So, the rules of "love" were much more restricted. Engagements in Austen's time, as we see in her novels, tended to come about rather quickly and take root in social equality or financial benefit rather than true love. Since the modern couple is (I would hope) looking for love, we are much slower at picking the right person and entering into an engagement. I don't think that a modern man would propose to a modern woman after only a few conversations with her. I think that there are awkward situations these days such as men or women trying to be friends but one of the party believing there was something more going on and ending up getting heartbroken. I think this is the equivalent of what happened to Mr. Collins with Elizabeth. But, in general these days I would say people definitely know each other much better before they propose, and can be more certain that they will be happy in a marriage because of the ability to communicate openly and on an equal level. I don't think Sir Bertram and Lady Bertram probably had this opportunity before they decided to marry.